The Jones Journal is a geniously written online satirical newspaper.The Jones Journal is the "shit." Here is what Bill Cosby (comedian, Jell-o activist) would say about the Journal if in fact he even knew how to use a computer: "The Journal with the Jones is like the Jell-o powder, it goes well in my belly!" Head Chef, Jonesy

To create this journal, I just sat down and thought to myself: what do I like to read on spark notes? The content comes from a variety of sources: My sick and twisted mind, my dog, and my friend the news.

I hope you enjoy this journal. Be sure to send e-mail to let me know what you think (check contact page). I'll be updating frequently, so check back often!

Issue 1, Article 2 Friday December 30,2005

Howard Dean holds press conference, apologizes to forgotten states.

During the 2004 presidential elections Howard Dean and company went to the Iowa primaries where Dean made a speech that was equal to "Who am I and what am I doing here." During the speech Dean named off about 13 states followed by a resilient screeching scream.

Today in a press conference Dean announced that he apologizes for skipping out on other states in that press conference. A Hawaii representative said they were outraged when Dean did not mention the state in his speech a Hawaiian spokeswoman had this to say about the speech, "I understand him mentioning Oklahoma in the speech, but how could he not mention Hawaii? He vacations here every year."

According to Howard Dean's attorney, apparently Dean mentioned every state but the news networks failed to show him saying them because it would take up too much time.

In other news the U.S. Government is mad about the hikes in oil prices. Not because the oil giants are gouging, but because the government's bribes are staying the same.